I am Bambi

SO when I was little I hated and loved the movie Bambi. Like Gollum hated and loved the "precious." There was always something joyful and hopeful about it, but I always ended up sad at the end anyway. I've come to recognize that in my own life. There is always something hopeful and joyous about life, but life is always sad. It's like we get to see little glimpses of something beautiful but never get to see the full picture and we must content ourselves with the much less glamorous mundane (which is what the mundane is). I look around and I think we are all sad and almost waiting to wake up. Like this life isn't all there is. I remember right at the end of Bambi the Great Daddy Deer just looks at Bambi with a look that says, you're a man (I mean Deer), but you've had to go through sorrow to get here. I feel like my life is all about, "Ben you're a man now, but you'll continually go through pain and hard times. Bambi always made me feel tragically heroic. It wasn't a false bravado, but a willingness to take on this curtain called life and live for that joy of seeing the Great Daddy Deer (I believe the technical term for all the sportsman out there is Buck). Life is sad. Bambi was sad. But there was always that glimmer of Joy and it comes at the end, when suddenly the sheet of this life is ripped away and we see it. Not some mumbo jumbo pie in the sky feel good happiness. But a certainty. We'll see Glory. We'll see Joy, We'll see life. And this thing we call "Life," will have been the opening credits to the Story called "Glory and Honor be to our Lord and of His Christ." So I am Bambi and not ashamed to say it!

Why do we call it summer?

When I was younger I always considered summer a time for fun, relaxation, no school, etc. However as the last update on my blog was like back in may you can only imagine how my ideal of summer has been shattered this year. I feel like I've grown up and that no more can I call summer fun. In fact I can't wait for it to get over. Well, in June Canyon Ridge had our VBS and every week in June we had a different youth group come help us promote, decorate and then actually assist us in our VBS. We had some great times but man it was a whirlwind trying to coordinate these youth! Well, July has turned out to be no better. First, a trip to Chicago preparing for a new vision at my church, and this week, I am at GMA in the Rockies. It is a competition for aspiring artists and songwriters. I am here for free b/c Lifeway (my side job) has a booth up here and so my boss asked me if I wanted to come and I was like do penguins have feathers? So I am here and I get to go to concerts every night go to seminars and most importantly scope out how good you have to be to win the competitions! Hopefully next year I'll be able to come (with my band www.bvcband.blogspot.com) as a competitor! Well, so this WDM blog is going to be about my life and what God is doing in my personal life and whatnot and any musings I have on my life. The Reformationaries blog will be dedicated to what God is teaching me and so I'll be sharing that sort of reformationary stuff there. And the band blog will be for any updates as far as if we ever make a CD or play a show or lead worship at a conference or whatever!
Oh and before I say adieu at our booth every night during the concerts, this lady sneaks in, we assume, and pretends to be an attender but she comes to our makeshift store and tries to shoplift. I am so aggrivated. The first night she got like 3 CD's last night she would pick up a t shirt unfold set it on something and was gonna try to walk of with the something she set it on. But she like stood there and read the same 3 t shirts like 15 times. All the while I just stood right next to her and gave her no opportunity to get a 5 finger discount. She's the best shoplifter I've ever seen and supposedly she'll be here every night. I don't think my patience will last that long! Oh and she looks like the bird lady from "home alone."

El $15,000 los por favor (Dude, that costs $15,000)

Anyway, why would anyone be reading my blog after nearly a month or more of silence, what could be so compelling to recapture my faithful reader's attention. So in an effort to regain my lost audience and spur Vince to blog once more, I created a meaningless title and an intriguing story with a valuable moral to it!

So, as you've gathered I work at a small Christian Bookstore in Denver, Colorado. Most days we make around $2000 in profits. So I was stunned one day to discover that we had made $17,000! I was like, what happened! I found out that a nearby church had spent $15000 silver cartwheels on not building a church, or a missions trip, or a ton of Bibles to give away, or VBS supplies, or facility renovations, but on




yep....choir robes!

I was dissappointed! And discouraged. Now, I'm not dissing choir robes, I always loved the way they made you feel like you could praise the Lord with freedom and joy! The way the sleeves just kind of slung off your wrists in a way that always made me feel holier! But I do think that a church could have spent that money on a much more noble and worthy cause. I know pastors in Tanzania and Romania who would be blessed by one-fifth of what this church spent on choir robes, which will be eaten by moths! Imagine how many churches, orphanages or what-not could be blessed by such an investment. The reason many churches across America are dying is not because of the culture, or lack of religious freedom, (although that can certainly be an issue) it is because they (we) have failed to be Kingdom-minded. How can we expect a church to grow when its focus is on itself and its pursuits. The church will never survive as an institution because that is contrary to the nature of what Jesus called it to be. Now I'm not propagating "anti-all-institutions." But I am saying that the church is an organism and is most healthy when its focus is on community and family, because Jesus has always been about the family and relationships. Not institution and organizations. Now Christ has and can use Institutions but I believe he called us to spend out smackaroos on widows, orphans, trips to starbucks to answer an unbeliever's questions, or building the church worldwide!

Next time you consider buying that item that you think will contribute to your further happiness and comfort, consider the $15000 that church spent on choir robes. We could spend our bucks on more worthwhile activities!

?No habla espanol?

The astonishing price we pay!

I have heard it said sometimes that there is such a "high cost to low living!" This cartoon reminded me of that fact!

As a person who gets 37 miles to the gallon (praise God for Honda!) I don't relate to this comic very well, but as someone who deals with depravity on a regular basis I totally comprehend this feeling! You know we laugh about the cliche "it'll cost an arm and a leg." We make jokes, comics, sermons, etc. about this cliche but I think we live this way more often than naught. How often do we willingly sacrifice a lasting reward of righteousness for a passing moment of pleasure. We surrender an eye, a leg, a thought, a hand, a word, a limb, a kiss, a stomach, a leg, just to gain a momentary and passing pleasure. I was reading CS Lewis recently and he said, "Joy is never in our power but pleasure always is." That is so true! Pleasure is just a website away, a liquor store away, a phone call away, a night away, an act away, a word away. Sin is always around us and as I look around me I realize that the passing pleasure of sin is just a breath away. However, isn't it amazing that Joy is inside of us. "For the Joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame!" Jesus is the Joy inside of every believer. I think that we must understand that low living has a high price (an arm and a leg) but righteous living is only imparted by the One who gives righteousness, and He is our Joy.

Come, Come let us join our cheerful songs
With angels round the throne
10,000 thousand are their tongues
But all their Joys are One.

-Isaac Watts

Worthy Worthy Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Worthy Worthy Worthy our humble lips exclaim.
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive honor and praise
'Cause Jesus You were slain

-Ben Zornes

Bowling in the Dark

"Hey Ben, you wanna go bowling tonight to celebrate my new job and my last night of Joblessness."

Those were the words of Michael, the Youth Pastor at my church, Canyon Ridge Baptist Church. I was hanging out with my pastor buddies, Kelly, my church's lead pastor, and the college pastor of Immanuel Community Church, Jeff. I was going to be staying with Jeff and his roommates Vince, my praise team's lead guitarist, and Brent, who I'm not exactly sure what he does. Needless to say, Jeff and I were like, "Yeah, totally." If you know Jeff, you'd know how he said it, like "Yeah, totally," with a Mississippi drawl. Anyway, Jeff informed me that Vince hated bowling. So we started collaborating on how to get him to go! After, Vince and I had practiced for Sunday morning on Thursday night, we headed to his house (where I was staying for the night, long story). We started hanging out; Jeff, Vince and I. Vince innevitably asked, "So, what do you wanna do." And Jeff and I were like, "We're, totally, going bowling." Once again imagine the mississippi drawl of Jeff.

Vince was angered, Vince was flustered, Vince was (distraught) Shift+F7. So, we were like, dude you're still totally going! So, since bowling didn't start till 9:30, we played indoor basketball "H-o-r-s-e." I think I won every game but don't ask Jeff or Vince, they'll tell the truth and otherwise (I didn't win any of the five games played)! I spun, I dove, I slid down the bannisters, I even invented an off the wall (no literally, off the wall) shot, but I still ended up spelling the stupid five letter word. Anyhow, at 9:20 we (Brent was then there, with Jeff and Vince) Loaded into my Honda Civic two door and sputtered to the alleys! As we walked in, guacamole, I knew I was in for a new experience. At the door you had to show your ID so if you wanted to drink (alcohol) you would get a wristband. When my turn came I just said, "Um, I'm not gonna be having anything anyway." The guy looked at me funny, I must've offended him, and then marked my hands with a huge red sharpie X's (still trying to wash them off 3 days later). I told our group (Michael, Jordan (Michael's Wife), Jeff, Vince, Brent, and me) that the X's represented my score.

We had to wiat 45 minutes before a lane opened and even then, I couldn't find any decent balls. The balls that my fingers fit in were too heavy for my wimpy lil' arms, and the balls whose weights were right, the holes were too small! So, I settled on stealing balls from the people in the next lane when they weren't looking.

Anyway, we started our friendly game and I quickly became atuned to the fact of some slight disadvantages of bowling at 10:00 at night on college night at "Chippers Lanes" in Ft. Collins, CO. For one you've got a whole ton of college students who are already pretty much drunk, trying to bowl! That was very humorous, it really isn't easy bowling drunk, or so I gathered from the drunk bowlers there. For two, some genius thought that if you turn off all the lights, put on strobe lights, use some fog machines, blast 80s rock music, you can make people enjoy their bowling experience more. I guess you can call me old fashioned but I like to be able to SEE when I bowl. Maybe its just an insinificant thing but it matters to me! For three, but perhaps this is the one advantage, you learn a lot about worship in a dark bowling alley with drunk college students!

I learned something that the church has yet to grasp. Worship was happening at the bowling alley alright, the gods of drunkenness, rage, sexual immorality, opposite sex, music, etc. Were all being glorified and adored. I remember one girl who every time she bowled would shake her hips, move seductively with the music and then bowl (she didn't score very well!). She had the eye of all her male companions and yep, there it was, worship of pretty woman. Another guy was so wrapped up with himself he would look around and make sure everyone was watching before he bowled (he scored rather well!). Yep, there's the god of self and pride being lifted higher. The couple sipping away their sorrows at the bar, yep there's the god of "covering the pain(they didn't score anything)."

But what I saw was full-on worship. These people were sold out to themselves, a member of the other gender, a drink, a game, a kiss, a betrayal. It made me wonder, why don't we see such devotion and "all-out-ness" in our personal and corporate worship. We sit on our hands when they should be lifted high to a Holy and Righteous God who cleansed our hands of all their filth. We shut our mouths in protest, when they should be pouring forth praise to the King who has touched the coal to our lips to purify them. We stand (or mostly sit) still when our feet should be dancing and becoming "even more undignified" for a Jesus who freed our chains so we could dance the dance of praise!

My heart broke for the lost and sad state of those drunken, self-consumed, lusty, bowlers. But I wish I could catch the fire that they have for their litte "g" gods. What a testimony would it be if Christians worshipped the only worthy God with the same abandon that the sinner worships his?

Well, I am sad to say, I'm not very good at bowling in the dark. I, uh, guess its not my cup-o-tea. I scored a 84 (out of 300 points for the non-bowlers) the first game and 76 the second game. I have bowled like a 150 before, but I guess me and fog machines while bowling don't have much affinity for each other. However, Vince bowled and 70-something his first game (and he the one who despised bowling) and he "woopa-d" me the second game and came in second with a huge score of 119!!!!! Go Vince, we're discussing joining a bowling league and coming up with cleverly designated names like Mullet, Santiago, He-man, The Skuller, etc. If we do, I am so stoked to get inspired by the worship going on. And maybe, through the Spirit's divine guiding, I'll be able to help someone redirect their full-on worship to the Source.

So, so, go midnight bowling sometimes. See how good you are at bowling in the dark. Hmm, isn't that what we do within our Christian walk, we're really spiritual bowlers, bowling in the dark.

Eyes wide open,
BenZ

Go To Church to Worship?

Ahh...Louie Giglio. If you've never heard the name please become well aquainted with it for it constantly reminds me of the worship journey to the greatness of God I am on. The above book, "The Air I Breathe" is a perfect devotional. The chapters are split into well sized sections, etc. Anyway, that's not my point, my point is this. This morning I was reading in it and a huge thought Louie was presenting struck me silly. And FYI this is my paraphrase, digestion and regurgitation (gross) of the thought...

We go to church to worship right? I mean isn't that the point of why we go to church, to fellowship with other believers in spiritual and truth worship. Well, to be honest, no...! You see we don't GO to church to worship. That would be almost as redundant as Jumbo Shrimp or Dry Ice. Rather we SHOULD go Worshipping TO church. When we arrive at a building whether it be a church, office or school, when we enter it we should still be worshipping. When we go to bed we should be worshipping, when we are crawling in the crawl space we should be worshipping, when we watch TV we SHOULD be worshipping (which is usually very unlikely to happen!), when we rise or lay die, when we sit along the way, or stand in the assembly we should be worshipping. So, we don't go to church to worship, that's like saying we go to pharmacy to get sick, or to the IRS to make money! The reason we go to church to be with fellow worshippers is to gather together and join as one what we've all being singing, living, praying, dancing, during the week. The rest of the week is our solo; joined believers is the choir anthem. Worship happens, it isn't attended. When we cease to see worship as a moment by moment expression of worth to an infinitely worthy Savior Jesus, we cease to be the worshippers the Father seeks, those that worship in (or through the Holy) Spirit, and in Truth (Jesus=truth).

So rather than going to church to worship, go worshipping to Church.